Us moms have a lot of thoughts. About our kids, your kids, those kids over there, the all-inclusive “kids these days,’ etc.
But we don’t always feel comfortable saying these thoughts out loud because OMG what if someone hears us and judges us or shuns us or kicks us out of Target forever?
Luckily, I am not one of those moms.
I will say what you’re afraid to say.
Because I want you to know you’re not the only one thinking these things.
You’re not. We all think these things. It’s not just you. You’re one of us. We understand.
Here are five horrifying thoughts moms aren’t supposed to admit but I will.
1. Playing with our kids is boring.
It is. It really is. Or maybe for you playing make believe is fine, but coloring is boring. Or Legos or building block towers. Whatever it is, we all have things we hate doing with our kids. We loathe it. We find every excuse not to do it. “Sorry buddy. Can’t play pirates. Gotta clean the oven or the toilet or file taxes or learn Mandarin.” The truth is there are some things our kids love to do that we. just. hate.
2. We don’t care how many vegetables our kids eat.
Oh sure we’re supposed to care. We act like we feed them broccoli in their sleep to make ourselves look good to the other moms at drop-off (and our pediatrician.) We really don’t care though. We know that, hey, sometimes vegetables are gross. Or we know that they’ll grow up and eat them just like we do. So if it’s been three days and the only green thing they’ve eaten is a gummy bear… we’re okay with that.
3. Kids are boring.
They are. It’s okay to say it. Their stories about recess. Their Mario and Luigi and Minecraft adventures. Hot Wheels, princesses, whatever it is they’re into. It’s all boring. Because they’re kids and not like-minded adults. We have nothing in common except our DNA and a mutual love for cheese.
4. Kid food tastes way better than our food.
I don’t care who you are, there is nothing better on the planet than a giant bowl of Kraft mac and cheese with a side of dinosaur chicken nuggets all washed down with a juice box. I will take that meal over a kale salad any day of the week.
5. They’re smarter, faster, all around better than your kid.
We all think it. We all firmly believe that our kid is the absolute best and yours will always be in second place. It’s because, despite the fact they’re boring and irritating at times, they still have our hearts, and we love them with the ferocity of a mother bear.