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“I’m a Bad Mom” Monday: I Launched My Son into a Desk

photo credit: mikecogh via photopin cc
photo credit: mikecogh

I struggle a lot with finding new and interesting and fun activities for my kiddos, especially those that entertain both kids at the same time. Lillian is 2 so she can do fun things like color (every flat surface) or play with Play-Doh (and smash it into the carpet.) Levi is 1 so he’s capable of eating crayons and Play-Doh. Which he does. I’ve changed the technicolor diapers as proof.

While my children are close in age, the gap right now is pretty developmentally dense, so anytime I come up with something all of us can do together is pretty exciting. The other day I had one of those great ideas.

My mother-in-law recently gave us a new desk chair. It’s a sturdy, swiveling, salmon-colored chair that is perfect for my husband who’s on the bigger side. It’s wide and has a tall back and did I mention it’s capable of spinning around and around in circles at speeds capable of injuring small children?

Well it is.

Lillian had already climbed into the chair when I had my brilliant idea to spin them both around in the chair. I inserted Levi between the arm of the chair and his sister and made sure they were both snug before I let loose. And by let loose I mean timidly spin them around at a snail’s pace.

“Woah!” I yelled at a level of excitement which far exceeded the reality of the situation. The kids had big smiles on their faces, but after a couple revolutions they grew a bit restless. I spun just a touch faster and their smiles widened until, once again, they seemed a bit over it. Levi had even managed to pull himself up to a standing position and was clutching the back of the chair to add his own new level of danger.

I wanted this to be fun and exciting and a thrill.

I knew what I had to do.

I looked at Lillian and with a very stern face asked her, “Do you want more?”

“More!” she yelled with glee.

I counted towards the amazing spin that was amount to happen. One (“This is going to be so much fun!”), Two (“They’re going to think I’m the coolest Mom!”), Three! (“Oh no…”)

You’re probably much smarter than me and realize what happened.

I gave the chair a good heave and in the blink of an eye my son, my uncoordinated, slim-bodied son who was standing up in the stupid chair, was launched out of it…

…right into my husband’s desk.


And that is why I’m a bad mom.


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5 thoughts on ““I’m a Bad Mom” Monday: I Launched My Son into a Desk

  1. Crystal @ Broken Condoms Blog

    My kids are the exact same ages as yours are and I have the same dilemmas. I, luckily, do not have a chair like this. Because I probably would have written a very similar post!

  2. tonihammer

    Stay away from the office chairs! 😉 I’m so glad you found my blog because now I found yours and, considering the similarities in our loves, I think we’re going to become the best of blogging friends.

    On Mon, Jun 2, 2014 at 10:31 AM, toni hammer wrote:


  3. Ariel Bernstein

    Is it bad I laughed when I read this? I guess the silver lining is when he’s a teenager and thinks his mom isn’t cool you could always remind him of how you once launched him into a desk 🙂

  4. tonihammer

    I’m HOPING people laugh at this. 🙂 Thanks for the idea when he’s a teenager!

    On Mon, Jun 2, 2014 at 4:29 PM, toni hammer wrote:


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