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The Other Person in My Bed

photo credit: demandaj via photopin cc
photo credit: demandaj via photopin cc

When I was pregnant with Lillian and friends would tell me about the sleep regressions kids go through, I would always silently guffaw at the notion. That’s silly, I’d think, they can’t regress. They’re just babies. How far can they actually regress? Besides, I’ve heard they don’t really sleep in the first year anyhow.

Now that I’ve managed to keep two babies alive and into toddlerhood, I can tell you that sleep regressions are real. There’s just so many things they’re doing and learning and thinking and dreaming. I liken it to when I start a new book or project and I’m just so excited that I can barely sleep. Same goes for babies–except they are excited about EVERYTHING.

So I’ve gone through sleep regression with my kids and we’re all still alive.

Alive, but broken.

My two-year-old is especially broken. Her sleep is, anyway.

For the last two weeks she has opted not to sleep like a normal human being. She’s tired–exhausted, really–but she won’t go to bed at night. She’ll wait until Levi falls asleep, softly knock on her bedroom door, and while sleepily rubbing her eyes say, “Mom, me awake.”

Well, yes, you are, but you really shouldn’t be.

This went on for hours the other night. I think it took her until 10 p.m. to finally stay in bed.

And how did I keep her in bed?

I caved and let her sleep in my bed.

And the next night, too.

And… well… she’s been spending a lot of time in my bed. Naps, too. It’s ridiculous.

What’s even more ridiculous is the time she doesn’t spend in bed. Like the other morning when she woke up at 4:30 in the morning. I woke up to her tossing and toning and I asked her if she was awake. “Me awake, Mom. Me play.” Um…

And then her nap was only an hour. One hour. She had been awake since 4:30 and she napped for an hour.

My daughter is broken and taking up my bed and not sleeping nearly enough.

I have no answers. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I feel better now. Thank you.

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6 thoughts on “The Other Person in My Bed

  1. Paula

    My 5 yr old has a ton of energy and will not stop moving but as soon as his head hits the pillow he’s out. My 3 yr old on the other will not stay in bed. I spend 2 hrs each night telling him to go to bed, get out of your brothers room, you just went to the bathroom, etc. I’ll be glad when it stops.

  2. Bless My Heart

    I can 100% empathize, and I hope that your child migrates back into her own bed soon.

  3. Jennifer Black

    My oldest daughter did not sleep through the night or on her own until she was 6. When she was four I decided to stop fighting it and just live with it. Meant better sleep for all of us. But I was glad when she decided to stay asleep in her bed.

  4. chaanah2014

    I just read this piece and wanted to say that you have my every sympathy. My daughter (now 19), STILL doesn’t sleep. She hasn’t slept properly from the first week at home after her birth. At the age of two, at some unearthly hour of the morning she once informed me, upon my demand as to why she had woken us up 11 (ELEVEN) times since our going to bed, that “it’s just dat I’m bored…”
    As she grew older and this pattern continued we sought professional help. The neurologist’s conclusion was that one side of her brain would go into its rest pattern for sleep, but the other side was as active as if it were wide awake.
    She’s a very bright girl. Leads an active life, is currently studying Psychology at university and is otherwise a normal healthy girl. As an infant and toddler, she raced to and through her milestones at a whopping rate (sat unaided at 4 – 5 months, crawled at 7, walked at 10… you get the picture). But sleep? Nope – still waiting for a full night’s sleep. At least she doesn’t still come and wake us to tell us that she can’t sleep… 🙂

    I hope for your sake your little one finds her sleep pattern and it’s a good one for all concerned. If not… well, the nightly visits to tell us she couldn’t sleep stopped around age 8 or 9. Instead she’d put her light on and read or play a kiddie movie on her PC… still does that.

    One survives – more or less intact. All the best 🙂

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