An Apology to Single Parents

When my husband's working late or busy for days on end I've whined, "I feel like a single parent." And now I'd lie to apologize for saying something so dumbMy husband is currently going to school and working nights which means he’s gone from the house from 2:30pm until 4:30am, and then sleeps from about 5am until 1pm at which point he gets up, eats, showers, plays with the kids for a few moments before heading out the door. This is happening five days a week and it’s been wearing on me.

I’m home with my 1.5 year old son and 2.5 year old daughter all day every day. I love them. I love them so much it hurts sometimes. But between boundary testing, potty training, and tantrums because the sky is blue, I am tired.

I’m so tired that I said something really, really dumb. I told my husband that because of his work and school schedule right now, I feel like a single parent.

That is the stupidest thing I’ve said in recent time.

The fact is that I’m not a single parent. I do have a husband who is out working hard and going to school which allows me to stay home with my challenging and trying toddlers. The fact is that if I needed him to come home for some reason, he’d be in the car before we even got off the phone. The fact is, no matter what my warped sense of perception is, I’m not a single parent. Not even close.

I don’t know what it’s like to work all day and then be both mom and dad. I don’t know what it’s like to be so exhausted and just want a reprieve which I may be unable to get. I’ll never know the weight of decisions a single parent must face, and I can’t fathom the struggles and fears that encompass their heart day in and day out.

So to all of the single parents out there, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for taking what I have for granted. I’m sorry for being insensitive and pithy and downright whiny. I’m sorry to make light of a situation I can’t even wrap my mind around.

And, actually, I’m sorry for even apologizing. You don’t need it. You’re doing just fine on your own.

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© 2014 Toni Hammer, as first published on Scary Mommy

One thought on “An Apology to Single Parents

  • December 20, 2015 at 10:50 am

    We all have days like that. I was a single parent for a while but I am lucky enough to have an ex-husband who has the kids regularly.

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