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I’m (Almost) Done Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

photo credit: My son via photopin (license)
photo credit: My son via photopin (license)

Secrets aren’t my thing. Transparency is my thing. This is why I tell you how I never wanted kids, how I went crazy, how hard this motherhood thing is, etc. I want you to feel like you know me even though we’ve never met. I want you to know I’m a real mom with real struggles and a real awesome sense of humor.

Which is why I’m telling you this.

I’m done being a stay-at-home mom.

My husband and I have talked about this extensively and have decided that if I can bring in enough money to offset the cost of daycare, then we’re going to go that route.

Allow me to explain.

My children have a secure bond to me and my husband. They love us and trust us. I’ve been an unplanned stay-at-home mom for almost three years now and I think I’ve reached my limit.

I feel I have come as far as I can when it comes to being a stay-at-home mom to my two toddlers. I feel like I’m doing my children a disservice keeping them home with me when there are places out there in the world with teachers who have gone to school to learn what to do with toddlers. I’m tired of staying up late to get my writing work done but I can’t give it up. Writing and editing makes me feel that I have a purpose, a goal, a dream worth fighting for. But I’m tired of sacrificing my sleep and well-being and relationship with my family for it. So I can either give it up or find a better way to manage things.

That “better way” is to find one or two more writing gigs or a writing/editing job I can do from home.

I will feel accomplished and fulfilled by being able to write and be creative and get work done.

I will be able to go to bed at a decent hour because I know I’ll have the next day to work.

I will get a break from my children and have a chance to miss them and therefore look forward to when they come home.

My children will learn valuable educational and social skills in an environment that isn’t, ya know, our apartment.

My husband will have his wife back on weekends instead of just a zombie woman who mutters to him, “I’m taking a nap” before passing out for three hours on both Saturday and Sunday because she’s so exhausted from everything.

You can call me selfish. You can tell me to buck up, that I signed up for this, that this is my job and everything else is secondary.

That’s fine.

But I believe this is the best course for the sanity and stability of all of us.

While I don’t believe I can have it all, I do believe this is pretty close. And who knows? Maybe we’ll try it and find out it doesn’t work for our family after all. But I have to exhaust all of my options as I search for a way to find the balance in this adventure called life.

So… anyone wanna hire me?

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8 thoughts on “I’m (Almost) Done Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

  1. dragonflylady77

    You have to do what makes you and your family happy. 🙂
    Good luck on the job front! *crosses fingers and toes*

  2. Cassey Toi

    I thinking finding what works for your family is hard, and now that you’ve found it yay you :). Good luck with the job hunt.

  3. Jamie

    No judgment here….I understand what you are going through. I’ve been a SAHM for 8 years. I am so ready to go back to work. My youngest will be in K in Sept. Good luck with your job hunt!

  4. Christina Mayer

    It is not selfish to do what is right for you. You will be a better mom if you are fulfilled and challenged. I agree that daycare is a good option for kids to get them socialized and learn more things. (Plus they help with potty training!) It is good to be honest with yourself and reevaluate every so often to make sure things are still working for your family. I am a stay-at-home-auntie for a week each year during Christmas break and I feel like I am going to crack at the end of each day, can’t imagine doing it for 3 years.

  5. Abby

    I like the way you think Momma! I’m in the same boat. Done having kids. Ready for some me time so that I don’t want to crawl in a hole during the witching hour. Had a job interview last week for a two day a week job. Hoping it’s enough for some sanity until I can take the plunge into full time.

  6. tara

    my hubs and i decided that it would save us money for *HIM* to be a sahD. Im not cut out for full time mom-ing. Im a better mom when i can leave at 8 and come home at 5 to relieve him. we were a 2 income family and it all got sucked up by daycare. this way, my hubs is home with kiddos- which he LOVES!

    My ability to be a good mom means i work 40hrs a week away from my kids. I dont blame you a bit.

  7. Carol Mourao

    No selfish at all, girl! My oldest went to a full time daycare when he was 5… months old. I’m a stay home mom since I was 4 months pregnant of my youngest. And my toddler remains in full time daycare and I’m planning to put my little one too when she completes 7 months, even if I won’t come back to work right away. I don’t care what people think, but being “familyless” in another country makes me urge for socialising my kids. Go for it!
    Xoxo, Carol.

  8. Lisa

    Go for it! Currently I’m feeling the opposite, 40+ hrs away from my family, stress and insane over-time. NO family balance – it sucks. I’m really debating on quitting altogether to be a SAHM, but worried I’m not cut out for it. I think a balance of a bit of both would be nice. Need a designer? LOL!

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