Blame it on my environment, genetics, the way I was raised, it doesn’t matter. The fact remains that for almost 33 years I’ve always been the one who wants, even needs, to make people happy. I don’t want to disappoint others. I don’t want them to be mad at me. I don’t want them to judge me or think unkindly of me. So I’ve learned to say the right things. Do the right things. Shirk from causing waves and keep my opinion to myself should it possibly cause some discord.
It’s been fucking exhausting.
And I’m done with it.
I am embracing my inner IDGAF. (Translation: I Don’t Give A F…)
If someone isn’t my husband, my family, or a few close friends, their opinion will no longer put a stronghold on me. I will no longer be giving up any of my brain cells in the name of worrying about what others think of me. I have a full plate between being a SAHM, wife, and freelance writer, and I need all of my mental energy to keep me and my family afloat.
If you think my house is messy IDGAF. I do the best I can given the day’s circumstances and if it doesn’t meet your standards I no longer care.
If you don’t like something I wrote, that’s your opinion and you are completely entitled to it. But IDGAF because I write for me so as long as I like it, I do not care.
If my kids are whining at me because they’re bored, guess what? IDGAF. You have enough toys to fill a storefront and are old enough to entertain yourselves. I spend a shit load of time with my kids teaching them, playing with them, and making sure they’re growing into well-adjusted members of society. If they’re bored, they can deal with it.
If I don’t load the dishwasher the right way or fold laundry incorrectly or don’t make the bed for days, IDGAF. These things are minor in the grand scheme of things and I’m done worrying about things I never should’ve worried about in the first place.
And it goes both ways, too. If someone does or says something I don’t agree with, IDGAF. It is their life to live. Their choices to make. They have no impact on my own so you do what makes you happy and healthy. Don’t worry about me and I won’t worry about you.
Life is hard. It’s hard making a marriage work. it’s hard raising kids. Work is hard. Finding socks that match is hard. We all make our own lives more complicated than they actually are without allowing someone else’s opinions of us effect how we live.
So I’m making IDGAF my new life motto. I’ll worry about my own life and choices and let everyone else worry about theirs. While I’m new to this idea, I can’t see any negatives coming from it. My hope is that it makes me more confident in how I live and how I raise my family. I hope it makes my writing more honest and transparent because I won’t be worrying about what people think. My hope is it makes me a better mom because I won’t wonder what the checker at the grocery store is thinking in regards to what’s coming down the conveyor belt.
There’s mental freedom looming on the horizon for me. The freedom to speak my mind, to live fearlessly, and to be happy. Genuinely happy because I’m living my truth. Joy is coming, friends.